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Take Two - Who Are You? A Guide To Building Your Self-Identity

There comes a time in every teenager's life when they ask themselves the question, “Who am I?”. You may have initially been asked this question as a child, and answered it with superficial facts about yourself. This time, however, it’s different. This question is no longer as simple as filling out your favorite color on a Get To Know Me worksheet in your elementary classroom. It begins to involve personality traits, morality, and a lot of self-introspection. Finding yourself is brought out to be a key developmental task of childhood. The influences in your life can determine whether you develop desirable qualities such as confidence, and having a stable sense of self. Ultimately there are three main things to look out for that will help in building a healthy self-identity: Your social circle, the habits you build, and what you tell yourself. 


It is a common saying that you are who you surround yourself with. The people you choose to spend time with will begin to impact your perspective and personality. Surrounding yourself with positive, supportive friends and mentors can instill concepts to help you grow positively as a person. Conversely, negative influences can lead you down an unproductive path and can also cause you to build harmful habits that can very well become a stumbling block in your future. Therefore, it is important to carefully evaluate your social circles which will help you shape your identity.


Likewise, the habits you build also play a crucial role in molding your identity. While adolescence usually involves your mind being impressionable, the window through which you can change yourself gets smaller as you begin to establish your identity. Habits that may be small ultimately add up and can give you skills such as consistency or cause you to constantly give up in the face of any challenges. With that being said, the habits you allow yourself to do, whether good or bad, could very well be a part of your self-identity. Being mindful of these habits can help you build a strong sense of identity.


Lastly, what you tell yourself— your internal dialogue and self-perception – has a significant influence on your identity. The manner in which you talk to yourself becomes the way you think about yourself, and these perceptions begin to manifest into who you are. Engaging in positive self-talk and acknowledging your achievements will help you create a strong sense of confidence. On the other hand, constant criticism and negative self-talk help you to create pessimistic behaviors and low self-esteem. When considering your self-identity, positive talk can help you build a confident sense of identity which contributes to the overall strength of your identity.


Finding your identity as a teenager can be a confusing but exciting journey. Your social circle, habits, and self-talk all play key roles in shaping who you become. Surround yourself with positive, supportive people who encourage your growth. The habits you build now can either strengthen or hinder your potential, so choose wisely. Lastly, positive self-talk and celebrating your achievements will boost your confidence, and help solidify a resilient identity. Keeping these 3 ideas in mind can make this journey feel more manageable, and guide you in the right direction!


Ekom Idem

12th Grade 

Haashall Bentonville 

Instagram - Ekom Idem


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