One day you’re fourteen years old watching all of the older kids drive their own cars and make their “own” decisions. While you’re sitting in your room alone because you just got into a fight with your parents, you wonder when you will get to be like the older kids. You’re scared that it might not ever happen, you feel like the world is ending. Would if the girl that is bullying you is the reason that your world ends. Or maybe your world will end because you made a bad grade on your test. You’re fourteen, no one around you listens to anything you have to say. Your mom ordered the wrong thing off of the drive thru menu and your siblings are too young to understand how “hard” life is. Nothing seems to go your way. So, yeah your world is ending because your parents didn’t let you hangout with your friends on the biggest Friday night of the semester. Being fourteen is the hardest thing you have ever done.
All of a sudden, because the world didn’t end two years ago, you're sixteen and you are experiencing what it is like to drive for the first time and have a real curfew. You get to make your “own” decisions and become best friends with your parents. You make new friends, but some people still don’t like you and you can’t figure out why.
Everything you do is with intention, but no one can appreciate that. You fell in love, but all of a sudden he flipped a switch and decided you weren’t what he wanted anymore. You’ve been used, forgotten, and reused again. Once again, your world is ending. You are sad, lonely, no one around you understands, especially your parents. Your dad always pushes you harder, does he even realize what you're going through? He doesn’t understand how mean girls are. You are always upset, but you can’t quite figure out why. Not knowing why you are upset makes you even more frustrated. There has never been a time that you have felt so low.
Being successful doesn’t even seem possible at this point. Everything is embarrassing, so why even put out an effort? Someone is constantly watching your next move, waiting for you to take a step down. You’ve never even talked to half of the people that are talking about you. It seems better to just belittle yourself than have people talking about you. Your world is going to end, there is no point in moving forward.
Fast forward a year, you are seventeen. Filling out college applications and making real decisions. Suddenly, taking control of situations isn’t embarrassing anymore. Belittling yourself for others is the stupidest thing you have ever heard of. There is so much drama and you were told at fourteen that the drama would go away. It didn’t think, if anything, it got worse. Now you have to make decisions for yourself and who knows if your friends actually like you or not. You have matured, you thought you got away from broken hearts and petty girl drama. You listened to your mom and she said that it would “blow over.” It didn’t, of course it didn’t. You stuttered in a speech that you made in front of hundreds of people, your body doesn’t live up to the standards of society, and although you know what is good for you, it is hard to make the decisions that will benefit you the most.
When everyone is talking about you and the things that you have done or the things that you will do, it is overwhelming. Locking yourself in your room and getting rid of all social media seems like the best option… but your six year old self promised your mom to never let your feelings get hurt. How is it even possible to not let your feelings get hurt? Maybe if you didn’t show emotion, people wouldn’t bother you. At fourteen, you thought the world was going to end but you wouldn’t have made it this far if it did.
How do people like Taylor Swift do it? How does she take all of the hate and let it empower her? There is no possible way that you could do the same as her, I mean, she is the biggest star in the world. It is possible, her world didn’t end when she got broken up with or got bullied for getting so much attention. She took it and found the good in it, and so can you. One day you will be sitting around your kitchen table with your real friends laughing about the things that happened all while you thought the world was going to end. Of course it didn’t, that was just your test to make it through. You will become successful in any aspect that you choose, all because your world didn’t end when you were fourteen.
Ava Morgan, Valley View High School, 12th Grade, Instagram - @avacmorgan
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